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Disiplinang walang palo: Challenging common Filipino parenting misbeliefs

Ateneo de Manila University psychologist Dr. Liane Peña Alampay highlighted key findings from the Parenting Across Cultures research project, which tracked 4,500 families across nine countries for fifteen years. PHOTO: OAVP-RCWI

More frequent spanking is linked to greater anxiety and aggression in children over time, according to international research that includes Filipino families presented by Psychology professor Dr. Liane Peña Alampay of the Ateneo de Manila University. The findings challenge the familiar belief that “pamamalo” produces more disciplined children, pointing instead to the benefits of warm relationships in the home, clear expectations, and nonviolent disciplining.

Ateneo de Manila University psychologist Dr. Liane Peña Alampay highlighted key findings from the Parenting Across Cultures research project, which tracked 4,500 families across nine countries for fifteen years. PHOTO: OAVP-RCWI
Ateneo de Manila University psychologist Dr. Liane Peña Alampay highlighted key findings from the Parenting Across Cultures research project, which tracked 4,500 families across nine countries for fifteen years. PHOTO: OAVP-RCWI

In her Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture, Alampay drew on the Parenting Across Cultures (PAC) research project, the world’s largest multicultural, longitudinal study of its kind.

Over 15 years, the PAC project followed children and their parents in nine countries—some 4,500 families in China, Colombia, Italy, Jordan, Kenya, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand, and the USA. As the Philippine site lead, Alampay examined how parenting shapes child development and how culture influences parent-child relationships.

Nothing positive about corporal punishment

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Across the various cultures it studied, the PAC project found that more frequent physical punishment predicted greater anxiety and aggression. Cultural acceptance of the practice sometimes weakened these outcomes, but it did not make physical punishment beneficial.

“In no instance does corporal punishment have positive effects,” Alampay said, underscoring the project’s findings.

“In the Philippine context, corporal punishment is often synonymous with discipline. But I want to correct that; discipline takes many forms. We need to discipline our children, but in ways that are not harsh or inflicting pain,” she explained.

Alampay’s research challenges the assumption that warm, accepting parenting is a Western approach unsuited to Filipino families. Across the nine countries, rejection, neglect, and hostility toward the child were consistently associated with later emotional and behavioral difficulties that remained from age seven to 14. In contrast, children who felt valued and accepted were protected from aggressive or antisocial behaviors, depression, and anxiety in relationships. 

Alampay also said that preventing school violence depends on addressing children’s relationships at home and in school. Rejection or harsh parenting at home can combine with bullying and exclusion in school, leaving distressed young people vulnerable to online groups that encourage violence. “Of course, we need to make schools safe spaces, not just safe in terms of cameras and bag searches, but safe with a teacher, safe with classmates,” she said, calling for parenting support and environments where children feel accepted and can trust adults.

Authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting styles

The Filipino parents represented in the research reported the strongest authoritarian attitudes, emphasizing strictness, obedience, and respect for authority. Alampay distinguished this approach from authoritative parenting, which combines rules and expectations with warmth, open communication, and recognition of the child’s perspective.

Moreover, close family ties also emerged as a potential strength. Valuing family responsibilities—such as helping in the home, spending time with the family, supporting siblings, and respecting parents—predicted later helpful behavior and, among Filipino participants, protected against the effects of negative parenting by shaping the meanings of parent behaviors. This variable may be related but not equivalent to “utang na loob.” Further study is needed on how family obligations can have both positive and negative effects on youth.

Parenting also reflects pressures outside the home: financial hardship, unsafe neighborhoods, and household instability can strain parents’ well-being and relationships, increasing the risk of harsh parenting.

Putting research into practice

To put research into practice, Alampay discussed Masayang Pamilya (MaPa), a Philippine adaptation of the Parenting for Lifelong Health support intervention that aims to promote positive caregiver-child relationships, prevent violence in the home, and enhance caregiver and child well-being.

MaPa teaches caregivers practical skills through model scripts, guided practice, illustrated stories, and stress management. A randomized controlled trial of MaPa for young children found reductions in child maltreatment sustained a year after the program.

Her team is working with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) to expand MaPa through family development sessions for conditional cash transfer beneficiaries.

For Alampay, the best way to reach parents is through support and empathy, rather than judgment. Most parents do not intentionally choose negative parenting. They want to see their children thrive but don’t know how. 

“We are also products of our history and how we were parented; it is all we know,” she added.

It is reassuring, however, that when given input, parents are motivated to unlearn past practices and learn new behaviors that foster positive relationships.

Dr. Alampay’s lecture is part of the Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture Series’ current focus on the family, bringing Ateneo de Manila University research into public conversations about children, relationships, and well-being.

View Dr. Liane Peña Alampay’s full Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture, “Parenting Across Cultures: Universals, Cultural Nuances, and Implications for Filipino Families,” on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szTIlcPits4 

Find out more about the Parenting Across Cultures project by visiting https://parentingacrosscultures.org/ 

For interview requests and other inquiries, please email media.research@ateneo.edu. Visit archium.ateneo.edu for more information about our latest research and innovations.

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Written by Markus Castro

A cat person by day and a writer by night. He loves to travel to his favorite destinations in Southeast Asia.

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